just a thought: FRED FALKE AINT SHIT

Daftpop may have been concerned with high-falutin and academic topics since the new year began, but eventually all momentum yields to inertia, and what goes up must come down, etc, etc. What plagues me now is something very silly, something irrelevant. I just need to know: Fred Falke, why? Maybe someone more acquainted with dance genres can explain to me why, why this man remixes songs.

Sure, sure, Fred Falke is a really good French bassist genius whatever. They say he is a remixer extraordinaire. But everyone seems to be ignoring the fact that pretty much every song Fred Falke has ever remixed is destroyed in the process; the original material is stripped of all its particular properties and rendered unto the communal spirit of all Fred Falke remixes. It doesn’t matter if it’s 1998, 2008 or 2047, a Fred Falke is unaffected by time and trend. IN A BAD WAY. The formula is something like this: lightening-strike arpeggio-ed synths up high (sequencing, I think?), a little New Romantic/m83 synth work in a lower key to provide a lush electric backdrop; a bumping funk bass, and that’s it.

What is the goal of remixing a song? It is to scramble, highlight and recontextualize a song we already know. Sometimes remixes make the song better, because the new mix seems to hit on some ideal quality that the original producer just couldn’t draw out of the song (see: Clipse’s Mr. Me Too z.a.k. remix, vs the Pharrell album version). But you know what? Fred Falke just puts all his remixes in the context of Fred Falke!!! This is just ridiculous musical egoism. Get over yourself, for serious!

Here are some examples:

Ladyhawke: Back of the Van (FRED FALKE REMIX)

The Whitest Boy Alive: Golden Cage (FRED FALKE REMIX)

Here are some more examples where Fred Falke ruins a good song by making it 1,000 hours long:

Grizzly Bear: Two Weeks (FRED FALKE REMIX)

Annie: Anthonio (FRED FALK REMIX)

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